


The Watcher - graphic scenes

by TheKnittingLady



Series: The Watcher [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Body Modification, F/M, Gang Rape, Genital Torture, M/M, Multi, Psychological Torture, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-28 04:24:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5077702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKnittingLady/pseuds/TheKnittingLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A companion to The Watcher, all the truly graphic stuff set aside for those who want to read.  Beware all the warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

As it says in the summary, this is a companion to my story _The Watcher_.  These are all the graphic, highly explicit scenes.  Many will feature non-consensual scenes of rape and torture, some will be consensual sexual scenes.  I'll make a note of which is which at the top of each chapter.  Each chapter will be numbered to correspond with the chapter in the original story.

Note the warnings.  I am not pulling punches here.


	2. Chapter 15.5

**Chapter 15.5**

**St. Francis Medical Center Emergency Department  
San Francisco, CA**

**Rossi**

The good news was that the staff here was trained in evidence collection.  The bad news was that because an FBI agent was involved one of them would have to go in there with him to ensure the correct chain of custody.  “Which one of us do you want?”  Rossi asked Spencer.  If he kept it simple and matter-of-fact hopefully they could minimize the embarrassment and get out of here quickly.

Spencer looked so resigned.  He knew it had to happen but he was clearly deeply uncomfortable.  He sighed and looked over at Seaver.  “We will not discuss this and never speak of it again.”

“Of course.”  She nodded.

“I’ll wait.”  Rossi drew the curtain.  But he was still keeping an eye on things; there was a reflection in a towel holder above the sink.

“I don’t understand though, why...oh!  Hey!”  Seaver’s eyes snapped to the clock high on the wall as Spencer started undoing his pants.  “I’m just going to....not actually look here.”

“Thank you.”  Rossi couldn’t actually see anything, but he could tell when Spencer stripped beneath the waist, got the sheet around him, and hopped up on the table.  “This is why I was really happy when I thought they did this while I was sedated.”  Spencer said.

“Totally understandable.”  Seaver agreed.  “Can I look down now?”

“Until the doctor comes in.”

“Fair enough.”

But that didn’t take long.  There were only a few awkward minutes before the doctor and nurse came in.  Introductions were made all around.  “I prefer Dr. Reid, actually.”

“Oh.”  The doctor said.  “MD?”

“PhD.”

“What’s your field?”

“He has a list.”  Seaver said.

“I consider mathematics my primary.”  Spencer replied.

“Ah.  Awesome.  Okay, Dr. Reid. We are here to do a Medical Evidentiary Examination...”

“Not a complete one.”  Rossi said from the other side of the curtain.  “One was performed day before yesterday.  They missed some photographs; we need to have that done.”

“All right.”  They set up a bit, and then in the reflection Rossi saw them pull the sheet back as Seaver’s eyes snapped to the ceiling.  “Wow.”  The doctor said.  “That’s a pretty hard core piercing.  What gauge is it?”

“I don’t know.”  Spencer replied.  “It was involuntary.”

“Ohhhh....  Okay, I see where the mistake was then.  I just need to....”  She got in the way of the reflection.

A moment later.  “Sorry.”  Spencer strangled out.

“It’s all right.  Totally normal reaction.  All right, take the picture here.”  There was the click of a camera.

“Oh my god!”  Seaver said.

“You said you weren’t going to look!”  Spencer replied.

“Sorry!  Couldn’t help it.”  Her eyes snapped back up again.  “Do I want to know how much that hurt?”

“That is the most painful piercing out there.”  The doctor replied.  “And those incisions, those had to hurt a lot.  There are a lot of nerves in that area.”

Things shifted about again.  “Really sorry.”  Spencer squeaked out again.

“No worries.  It happens.  Lot of nerves, right?  Okay, take this one.”  The camera clicked again.  “Let’s have a look....yep, those are good.”

“We just need you to fill out the form to go with them.”  Rossi said.

“Of course.  Why don’t you go print those out.”  She said to the nurse who nodded and stepped away.

“Go with the evidence.”  Rossi said.  Seaver scurried out behind her.

“Now I assume you’re not planning on putting the piercing back in...”  The doctor said.

“God no.”  Spencer replied.  “I’m hoping it will heal and I can have the rest repaired.”

“How long has it been?”

“About five weeks.  It’s been bleeding regularly.  They cauterized the incisions though.”

“Then they didn’t do anything to help the piercing heal.  That’s actually good, as long as it’s not infected.  The incisions will want surgical repair, but it should be fairly minor.  Let me have a look.”

“Is there going to be any more evidence collection, Doctor?”  Rossi asked.

“No.”  The doctor replied.  “I’ll have the form ready in a few minutes.

“Very good.  I’ll wait for you both out here.”  Rossi stepped out and over to the desk where Seaver was just clipping a sheet of paper over a sheet of pictures.  “Did those come out?”

“Yes.  They are accurate and adequate.  What was that?”  She still seemed shocked.

Rossi took a look at the pictures, winced, and covered them again.  “It’s called an ampallang piercing.”  He replied.  “When the guy is at full erection they ram the needle through from side to side, right through the glans.  A barbell is usually put in place, it looks like they slit his foreskin on both sides to accommodate it.”

“Ow.  Ow ow ow.  Why?”

“In this case to retain a chastity device.”

“Why?”

“You tell me, young padawan.”

“Well, Groth characterizes rapists into three different categories based on their end goal...”

“According to my interview with Alice Huntington all three types were represented in the Unsub’s crew.”

“Okay.  An anger rapist wouldn’t be patient enough to use a device like that, they would just want to physically attack their victim.  A sadistic rapist would enjoy the piercing part, the infliction of pain, but there wasn’t enough injury for five weeks with a sadist.  A power rapist wants to feel competent and in control and may even believe that eventually the victim will come to enjoy what’s being done to them.  And how better to show a victim who is in control then to control his body at all times?”

“More than that, how better to make a man who insists he’s straight realize his ‘true’ sexuality then to make him beg for it.” 

"Beg for it?"

"It's called edging.  I know your mother told you that a boy won't die from a bad case of blue balls, but make it go on for weeks at a time and it will be both very painful and make them more than a little desperate."  

 “A power rapist would find that immensely satisfying.   But he wouldn’t have the stomach to put in the initial piercing.”

“No, but in this crew we had all kinds.  The sadist put in the piercing and reassured the power rapist that if he kept teasing his victim and then made him sleep in that eventually he would crawl on his knees and beg them to take it off and take him.”

“Great.”  Seaver frowned.  “Did he?”

“Not according to Alice Huntington.  Our Dr. Reid is a lot stronger than he looks.”  Just then Spencer joined them.  “What did the doctor say?”

“I’m all right for now.   I’ll have to see a specialist when we return to DC.  Can we...not discuss this.  Ever.  Please.”

Rossi smiled.  “Of course.”


	3. Chapter 17.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No major warnings, this one is a consensual encounter. M/F, no kink involved.

**Chapter 17.2**

**White Swan Inn  
San Francisco, CA**

**Spencer**

Spencer had slept deeply for a time, likely a combination of various kinds of exhaustion and the comfort of a bed and the safe, warm feeling of having Alice next to him once more.  But just before dawn his brain had woken him with memories of burning, aching pain, a pain he no longer actually experienced but one he was so used to experiencing at exactly that time that his brain played the pain tape anyway.  Hell of an alarm clock.  He used to have Brahms in there.

He got up, found the bathroom, checked to see how closely the guard was keeping watch.  He didn’t want whoever was out there listening.

At least Morgan wasn’t listening.

Once he did the best he could with that he went back to bed to think.

The question was what to do about The Problem.

That was how he thought about it now.  The Problem.  It has been The Problem for five weeks now, mostly in a theoretical kind of way, but now it was real and here and he had to decide on a solution.  He sat on the bed to make a mental list of his options. 

1)  He could steal off to the bathroom and deal with The Problem, but that felt shameful and wrong.  He’d never done that before this particular Unsub team came along; doing so now felt a lot like letting them win.  He’d be giving up his most cherished beliefs, exchanging them for becoming the perverted freak the Unsubs swore he really was. 

2)  He could take care of The Problem right here and now, like just about every other male human on the face of the planet.  He could acknowledge and own it without shame and then move on.  But Alice might not be ready to deal with that.  She was sleeping less than six inches away after all and she’d been through so much and it might trigger a nasty flashback type thing.  He didn’t want to do that to her.

3)  He could ignore it and wait for it to go away on its own.  This had the benefits of maintaining his belief structure and allowing him to re-master his body in what might be considered a cultural Zen sort of way.  But the doctor had said that doing that might set him up for medical issues further down the road.  And he did envy JJ her family at times, he wanted one of his own.  Was it really worth risking that over some ideals?

While he was sitting with his back against the headboard over thinking things he felt Alice wake up.  He turned to look at her as she stretched and opened her eyes in the gentle light of the nightlight she’d left burning for him.  He’d never seen her eyes before yesterday; they had always been darker spots in the blur of her face.  Now he once again had to admire how luminous they were, how they showed every nuance of emotion.  “Good morning.”  He said quietly. 

“’Morning.”  She mumbled back.  Then she slid out of bed, staggered a bit much as he had from the height of the mattress, and stumbled to the bathroom.

She came back a few moments later and offered him an ice pack from the small bar fridge she kept in there.  “I don’t need it.”  He said.

She blinked at him in confusion a moment.  “Oh.  That’s right, you don’t.”  With that she dropped the towel wrapped pack on the nightstand and slipped back into bed.  “I’m so used to getting you one...”

“I know.  I’m so used to needing it.  That’s what woke me.”  He snuggled back down to lay beside her.

“Oh.  I could go hang out at my desk for a while....”

“No.  Morgan’s out there.  He stayed guard on your couch all night.”

She smiled.  “Sounds like you were right about him.”

“I was.”  Morgan was his loyal brother best friend.  There was no longer any doubt about that.  He watched her in the faint light of dawn for a long moment.  “What are you thinking?”

“Do you remember how we talked about...participation?”

All of a sudden options one through three went right out of Spencer’s head.  A fourth option had just presented itself, a very, very tempting fourth option.  “Really?  I mean, not just to make me feel better...”

“No, I really want to.  I mean, if you want me to.”

Spencer had become used to developing nearly instant erections over the past few weeks, especially where Alice was concerned.  But this one didn’t hurt at all.  “I absolutely want you to.”

She reached up and lightly traced his lips, making The Problem just that much worse.  “We don’t have any lime custard.”

“I think we can make do without it.”  With that he pulled her in close and kissed her as he had only ever kissed twice before.  She tasted of coffee and chocolate and something rich and dark, and when she licked gently at his lips The Problem blotted out everything else.  He buried his face in her neck and groaned.

“Ohhh.”  She slipped those long, nimble fingers under the hem of his shirt and stroked the small of his back, making it so much worse his legs started to tremble.  Then she pressed against him feeling his body with her own and everything started to tremble.  “We need to fix that.”

“Please.”  He whispered into her skin.  He would not beg out loud, had fought against begging for so long now he couldn’t except for just where she could hear.  But he needed The Problem to go away, he couldn’t bear it a moment more.  He was shaking in her arms with need.  “Please.”

“Yes.”  She replied.  “Of course yes.”  With a bit of tugging she got his shirt over his head and pushed him over onto his back.  Then she tugged at his pants until they slid down over his hips.

Before all this happened Spencer considered it a point of pride that he had never really had a deliberate erection.  Not that he was some kind of eunuch, he’d been aroused by women before.  There had been dreams of Alexia back at the very beginning of puberty, of course, but after what happened on the football field those had been squelched for a long time.  When that energy had come back he had channeled it into work at CalTech, leaving his body to release the pressure in his dreams at least once a week, which was why he always wore pajama pants.  Once at the BAU he found that the stress of work and dealing with victims was as effective a control as three doctorates in six years.  But there had been that memorable time in the pool with Lila and phone calls with Maeve made him start wearing loose pants on Sundays, so he knew he would respond adequately when the time came.  He was just holding out for romance.  He considered that part of life something special to be shared with the right woman, when she came along, and not squandered otherwise.

It was still kind of shocking seeing one, having one.

For the past five weeks he had them a lot.  It had been a near constant state, part of the torture of that place.  He’d realized quite quickly that he was built down there the way he was built pretty much everywhere else, long and slender, which had helped him avoid some tortures even as it led to others.  Now he was so hard he was bright red, even leaking a little, just that fast.  But after five weeks of daily teasing his entire body was primed to go off on a hair trigger.  That was The Problem, all that energy and what to do with it.

Then Alice began resolving The Problem by taking his cock firmly in hand and all rational thought went right out of his head.

Her touch was so different from the Unsub’s.  Her skin was soft, not rough, her hands smaller and more nimble, her grasp firm without being crushingly tight, her strokes slower and gentle.  But it was more than that, there was something about it being a woman, perhaps this specific woman, that took it from mere sensation in the groin to something that encompassed his entire body and seeped into his very soul.  She’s touching me, he thought, she’s touching me and I...

I...

He’d stored way too much pent up energy for way too long.  There wasn’t nearly enough time to savor the waves of heat and power and pleasure and knowing that finally, finally before it happened.  His world exploded.  His whole body went tense and he felt his system contracting and pumping and from a distance he heard himself shouting.

Eventually he fell back into his body.

 Problem - solved.

It took him a moment to catch his breath.  He felt thick and logy, a sweet weight holding him down, better than any drug likely in existence.  Moving was impossible, he didn’t think his body would respond even if his brain tried to get him to twitch somehow.  And he became aware of the sensation of a warm gel cooling on his skin, a sensation he now associated with semen.  But since he was the only man in the room it had to be his this time. He managed to move his arm enough to swipe it off his neck.  “Gah...”

Alice settled back with a grin that became a giggle.  “You went off like a fountain there, love.”  She said.  “Want a wash cloth?”

For a moment human speech escaped him.  “Please.”  He was used to nocturnal emissions, just having to change his pajama pants.  This time it went _everywhere_.  And all he could do was lie there and stare at the ceiling.  “Good heavens.”  He felt amazing.  He hadn’t felt this good in...in...ever.

A moment later he felt her return to the bed and then the warm, gentle touch of the cloth on his chest.  “Better then?”

“Much.  Thank you.”  His arm could move at least.  He took the cloth and continued the clean up.

“No, thank you.”  She nestled in beside him her head on his shoulder.  Which only made it better all around.  “You’re right about participating.  It’s much more fun than just watching.”

“Good to know.”


	4. Chapter 17.4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for aftermath of injury. This one is a consensual encounter. M/F, no kink involved.

**Chapter 17.4**

**The White Swan Inn  
San Francisco. CA**

**Spencer**

For a long time they just lay there.  Spencer basked in the glow of a wonderful endorphin high, and Alice seemed quite contend to curl around him.  But there was something missing, something he had to do here.  “What about you?”  He asked eventually.

“Mmmm, what do you mean?”  She asked.

“Participation.”

He could feel when she realized what he was proposing.  She went very tense and still, then leaned up on one elbow and looked at him.  “No.”  She said.

But she didn’t say it all that firmly.  “Why not?”  He asked.

“Just...no.”  She shook her head and lay back down.

“Why not?”

 “I don’t...”  Her eyes were shadowed with curiosity and fear.  For the moment the fear was winning.  “No.  Spencer.”

It was his turn to lean up on his elbow.  “Know what I think?  I think you’re afraid that you’re going to take your clothes off and I’m going to be so repulsed that I’ll leave.  And not because you have scars, I already know you have scars.  No, I think you’re afraid that I’ll be sickened and leave because you’re hiding a prosthesis under there...”  Now she went very still, her eyes going wide.  “...and without it I won’t be able to stand the sight of you.”

“How did you....”  She sighed as she wrapped her arms around her torso.  “I swear to god you are a mind reader.  You couldn’t even see me before today, how do you know that?”

“Body language and fluid dynamics.”  He lay back down and gently caressed her cheek.  “I really, honestly don’t care what you look like.  Your body is beautiful because you inhabit it, and it will be as long as you live in there.  Please let me love you.  You’re curious, you know it.”

It took a long moment but at last curiosity triumphed over fear.  “Oh hell.”  She murmured.  Then she pressed into his arms and found his lips once more.

This was different.  She wasn’t as driven by hydrostatic pressure as he was; this was a tease, a slow warming.  This was him getting his hands inside the clothes she was wearing, undoing her robe and stroking his hands up under the hem of her shirt, over the soft skin of her back and the rough skin over her stomach.  It was easy to loosen the drawstring at her waist, to slide her pajamas off and what she wore under them, and to cup and stroke the rich curves of her backside.  It was even easy to get her shirt off over her head, all the while reassuring her with kisses and caresses and gentle murmurs that she truly was beautiful to him.

 As he expected the scars started at her left collarbone and flowed down her body, splashing over her left arm and down the left side of her body, crossing her stomach and ending on both thighs.  They were well healed, her family could afford nothing but the best and nothing had been spared in her care.  But even the best care could only do so much once the deed was done.  Which was why he left her bra for last, left it until he had reassured her and hopefully aroused her to the point of bravery.  “Please.”  He finally murmured to her lips.  It was nearly the last barrier to go.

She nestled against him, her cheek to his, allowing him to feel the deep breath she took.  And then she reached behind and let her bra fall away. 

It took her left breast with it.

He had expected that.  The burns would have been deepest there, and at seven the tissue that would eventually take on a womanly shape would have been small and shallow, easily damaged, easily lost.  Even well tended scar tissue would be too tight, too inflexible to try to create a structure to replace what was lost so she wore a prosthetic under her clothes to hide the damage from a casual glance.  If anything the regret would have been heightened by her right side being untouched and so very perfect, a soft, silken teardrop that fit just right in his hand. 

But none of that mattered.  What mattered was the way she gasped when he touched her there, the way that tender tip hardened in his palm, the sudden shock in her eyes as she felt that heat for the first time.  He didn’t shy away from touching her scars, but they were not the point here.  The point was to give her the pleasure and release he had given her.  “Like that?”  He asked quietly.  When she nodded he bent to kiss what he had woken and was rewarded by this sweet little kitten sound of pleasure, which could only mean that she wasn’t afraid any more.

But that wasn’t enough to take her where he wanted her to go.  To do that he had to reach down, to caress the scars that covered her thighs, and to gently cup her between.  Her eyes met his then, but she didn’t pull away.  “I don’t...”

He’d read some advice once that resonated, about the best way to handle this situation.  “Show me?”

After what she had just shared of herself that was easier.  Her eyes were hazy with desire as she reached down and pressed his fingers to her core, showing him exactly where and how and how quickly she liked to be touched.  He learned quickly, and within moments she was leaning into his shoulder, moaning softly in his ear.  “Spencer?”

“I want to see.” 

She leaned back so her eyes found his once more.  He mentally crossed his fingers and slid one finger back, gently probing until he realized he was slipping in, not down, and there was all this heat that was soft yet firm....

“Oh!”  She gasped and her body went rigid and clamped around him.  There we go, he thought as he smiled.

With a strangled scream she let go.

He had not been expecting quite so strong a convulsion out of her.  He was not expecting her entire body to let go, shaking so hard he thought she might knock them both off the bed.  He did not expect her to grab his wrist and hold his hand in place while she ground out wave after wave of pleasure.  And her certainly did not expect her body to clutch at him like that, wave after wave pulling at his fingers, trying to draw him deeper and deeper in.  He could just imagine would it would be like if he...

Eventually she collapsed next to him.  “Oh.”  She managed to gasp out.  Then she started laughing, riding the endorphin high that had taken him not long before.

“That good, huh?”  He couldn’t help smiling as he pulled his hand free.  He reached up to brush her hair back from her face.  She was lying there completely open, vulnerable, utterly spent, in perfect trust.  He had never felt so honored in his life.  “You really are so beautiful.”  He said. “I love you.”

Somehow she managed to get enough control to roll into him.  “I love you too.”

 


	5. Chapter 17.6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No major warnings, this one is a consensual encounter. M/F, no kink involved.

**Chapter 17.6**

**The White Swan Inn  
San Francisco. CA**

**Spencer**

“There’s only one problem with this.”  Alice said sometime later.

Spencer had no clue how long later.  He’d been too busy watching the grey sky lighten to pearl as the dawn rose above San Francisco and basking in love settled at last to pay attention to something as mundane as time.  No problem could seep into this perfect bubble of sweetness around them.  “What problem?”

“Now I have to wonder what actual intercourse would feel like.”

Oh, now that was a problem.  He looked over, found not concern on her face but a kind of an impish desire.  She reached up and ran gentle fingers over the skin of his chest, the faint lines of muscle there.  Now he was rather curious how much time had passed since the memory of pain had woken them, because whatever it was it was now his new refractory period.  “Do you?”

“Yes.”

“We could experiment.  Find out.”

“Are you, um, up for that?”  He rolled in to her, or her into him, and she laughed.  “Why Doctor Reid....”

“A good scientist is always up for an experiment.”  He said, before he kissed her right below her ear and made her gasp again.

It was easy, this third time.  Caresses were familiar even as they were still new, bodies knew where to fit.  He did not hold back from touching her scars, even as he touched the rest of her, awakened the rest of her as she awakened him just by being there.  Her kisses were richer than any wine Rossi ever served, her body a perfect fit.  Oh he had been right, it was so very different with women.  It was wonderful with a woman in his arms.  Everything was magical.

Except for one thing.  “Condoms?”  He managed to gasp out at one point.  The doctor had said condoms for intercourse, to prevent infecting his wounds.  Of course he would just think of it now...

Alice stretched an arm out but it didn’t quite reach.  “Basket.”  She said.  “Housekeeping puts them in every room.  You’ll want a blue one I think.”

“Right.”  There was a small, covered basket on the nightstand.  He knocked the lid over and plucked a blue packet from the contents.  Now for the next problem.  “Any idea how?”  He’d read about, but it wasn’t like he had ever tried.

He knelt, she rolled and curled around him and made quick work, rolling the thin membrane down and making him gasp with the touch.  She followed with some gel from a packet before rolling back and tugging him over her.  “Please.”  She murmured as she pulled him down for kisses.  “I want to know what you feel like inside me.  Please.”

There was no way he was going to say no to that.

The angle felt awkward at first, things didn’t want to fit.  Until she reached down and adjusted and pressed and then he was slowly pressing and pressing and she wiggled and there was what felt like a little pop and she gasped and he was slowly sinking into all that heat as her eyes went wide.  “Yes?”  Oh he couldn’t be hurting her.  Not now.  Please not now.

“Oh.  Um.”  She wriggled under him and shifted around him and what had been so tight suddenly gave just enough and became the most perfect glove as she made this little hum and a very satisfied smile crossed her face.  “Just don’t move.”  She said as she slowly rocked against him

Don’t move?  Don’t move?  She had to be kidding.  But he didn’t need to move, not with the way she was wrapping her legs around his hips, with the way her body was tugging and pulling and so hot and so...no, he didn’t need to move.  Not until she looked at him, her eyes so wide.  “Spencer?”

Then he moved.  He moved because he had to, because there was a rhythm there that had to be answered, a need that would not be denied.  Together they moved and build something brighter and hotter than the sun itself.

With matching screams they found the heavens.


	6. Chapter 20.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Rape. Threats of violence.

**Chapter 20.5**

**There**

**Then**

What that mouth can do.  Spencer could guess what the voice wanted. 

He swallowed, his mouth suddenly gone very dry.  HIV, he thought.  Herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis A, warts, intestinal parasites, his inner germaphobe was on the verge of panic.  He’d never performed oral sex on a man, hell he’d never performed any kind of sex act on anyone.  He’d only ever been kissed twice and touched once, and of those three only one had been somewhat voluntary.  I should not have said no to Lila, he thought.  She is still extremely attractive and would have taught me a great deal that night.  I never regretted that before.

Rough, strong hands grabbed his wrists as the one was freed from the chair, and both were cuffed behind him.  “I do not want to feel your teeth.”  The voice said.  “If I do I won’t bother with yours.  I’ll break each and every one of Queenie’s out of her head.  Not pull, I’ll break them off for her.  You understand Agent Doctor?”

* * *

 

**BAU Headquarters  
Quantico, VA**

**Spencer**

“You believed him?”  Kate asked.

“Yes.”  Spencer replied.  “We found two of the victims with all of their teeth broken, their jaws as well, likely from the beating.  Both had been severely underweight, likely from being unable to eat afterwards.  One of them had been on the verge of dying from multiple abscesses that had caused septic toxins to travel to his brain.  I’ve decided that’s number seventeen on my list of worst ways to die.”

“Only seventeen?”

“I’ve been with the BAU for ten years.  There have been a lot of things to put on that list.”

“I believe that.”

* * *

 

“You understand Agent Doctor?”  The voice asked.

“Yes.”  Spencer replied.

The first blow was more of a slap, right across his face.  He’d had worse, but he took it as a warning blow.  “The only words I want to hear out of your mouth are ‘yes, sir’ and ‘thank you, sir’.  If I can’t hear them from you I will hear them from her.  Now, do you understand?”

He’s trying to make me feel powerless, Spencer thought, to reinforce his power.  Likely because his own self-esteem is fragile.  “Yes sir.”

“Good, you learn quick.”  Spencer heard a zipper going down.  “So learn this, I want you to stick your tongue out and open your mouth wide for me.  I do not want to feel those teeth.”

With that they grabbed Spencer by the hair, pulled him to his knees and shoved something huge into his mouth.

It honestly didn’t taste like much of anything.  Sticking his tongue out kept his taste buds out of the way, so he got a little salt, some bitter, the acrid tang of whatever powder the owner of the voice used on his testicles.  The smell was stronger, sweat and musk and leather, which would be appealing to someone who was in to that sort of thing, but which did nothing for him at all.  The bad part was that it was instantly shoved to the back of his throat, causing him to gag.

“Do not puke.”  The voice said.  “You do and I make Queenie lick it up for you.”  The big thing pressed forward and made him gag again, the voice giving a sigh of pleasure.

That was pretty much the work of it.  The owner of the voice used his hair to control him, made him gag repeatedly on his...no, penis would not do as a word here...on his cock, and seemed to enjoy the sensation.  With every thrust he got further and further down Spencer’s throat, causing more and more burning pain.  Spencer tried hard not to be sick or to let his nose stop up from the tears coming to his eyes.

Finally the voice was buried as deeply as he could go.  He pushed down there, mashing Spencer’s face against his pubic bone, making it impossible for Spencer to breathe.  “Oh yeahhh.”  The voice sighed.

Spencer quickly found the world going dark around the edges as spots danced in his vision.  Breathe, he thought, must breathe, as he fought against the cuffs to try to get free.

The voice pulled back just long enough for Spencer to catch a quick breath, before he did it again, and then again, and then again.  On the third try Spencer felt something hot and thick suddenly pooling in his throat.  A moment later and the voice pulled out, clamped his hand over Spencer’s mouth and forced his chin up into the air.  He had to swallow or choke.

“You got to try this.”  The voice said.  “Agent Doctor here is good.”

* * *

 

“How many were there?”  Kate asked.

Spencer stopped a moment, both to remember and to regain his composure.  “Five.”  He admitted eventually.  “There were nine unsubs that took an active part, the rest weren’t there that day.”  This part was over, he let that memory go and called back his memory of last night with Alice.  She smelled like honey and roses, as he recalled, and something spicy underneath that was wonderful.  He had to remember to ask her to never wear leather clothing around him.  And perhaps to always wear some kind of floral perfume.  Scent was such a potent link to memory.

“There was no...other rape that first day?” 

“No”...


	7. Chapter 21.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Body modification

**Chapter 21.5**

**There**

**Then**

Jack took a deep breath.  “And then there’s what they’re doing to Mikey.”  He said.  He knelt by his lover who was asleep on a mattress, and pulled back the blanket.

Spencer had to get close and squint, and even then it took him a bit to figure out what he was seeing.  “What...?”

“It’s called fluffing.  Ever hear of Synthol?”

“Yes.  It’s used by body builders to artificially enhance their muscles.  It’s very dangerous.  Have they been injecting it into his...?”

“Yeah, right into his cock.  Both chambers.”

“Oh.”  Spencer had to blink.  Mikey’s penis was enormous.  Even though it was clearly flaccid it was about five times normal size, roughly the girth of a soda can, and lolling at it’s likely maximum length of about seven inches.  It was also an ugly dark reddish, brown, indicative of deep bruising and perhaps clotted blood.  “Why?”

“Copying something those sick fuckers saw on the internet.  What else?”

“You know Synthol restricts oxygen flow to tissues.”  Spencer reached for Mikely head.

“I figured something like that.”  Jack sighed.  “No, don’t wake him.  I’ve been trying to get him to sleep as much as possible so he doesn’t have to feel that.”

“I just want to know if he’s feverish.” 

“Oh.”  Jack reached over and gently smoothed a hand over Mikey’s brow.  “He’s cool.”  He said.  “You a doctor?”

“Not an MD, no, but I have studied human anatomy and forensic medicine extensively.”

Jack was quiet a long moment, then.  “That’s going to have to come off, isn’t it?”

Spencer didn’t know what to say at that moment.  “I don’t know.  It might be reparable, likely surgically.  It depends on if the tissue starts to die or not I think.  But, um, the odds are probably not the best.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”  Jack looked down at his lover with a sigh.  “He’s such an amazing kid, even now, you know?  He keeps thinking we’re going to get out of this any day and we can go somewhere and it’ll all be okay again.  Even if he does get his dick cut off, he said he’ll get a robot one, drive me crazy with it.”  He managed a sad smile.  “I don’t care, I’m not giving up on him, no matter what.  I’m going to marry him when we get out of here.”

“I think that would be wonderful.”  But he heard the sigh from behind him.  Alice knew what he knew, as soon as Mikey showed any sign of illness it would be over for him.  They would no longer hold back with their torture and within a few days he’d be a body lying in the woods.  And the way he was going gangrene and sepsis were inevitable.  A fever would likely be the first sign.

“So do I.”  Now they heard Alice start to quietly weep as she opened some appliance.  “I don’t know what’s up with her.”  Jack said.  “She was here when I got here.  She claims she’s been here since March.”


	8. Chapter 23.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Corporal punishment, oral sex

**Chapter 23.5**

**There**

**Then**

_“At the moment they’re forcing Jack into an o-ring gag.”_   Alice said, her voice soft through the earpiece Spencer was now wearing.

“An o-ring gag?”  Spencer asked.

_“It’s a steel ring that fits behind your teeth and forces you to keep your mouth open.  For, you know, obvious reasons.  Have you ever worn a gag?”_

“No.”

_“The trick is to not try to swallow, you’ll only choke.  Just let yourself drool.”_

“Nice.”

_“It doesn’t look like they’re bringing one over to you.  They’re sorting through the impact stuff but Jack isn’t bound up for a beating.”_

“A beating?”

_“Yeah, that’s likely what’s coming here.”_

It wasn’t like Spencer had never been beaten before.  “I can do that.”

_“Okay, I’m seeing a cane, a belt, a paddle and a big flogger.  They are not known for their creativity, thankfully.  Oh, and a little flogger, that’s not good.”_

So far it still didn’t sound like anything a 10 year old geek in the Nevada public school system couldn’t handle.  “Why not?”

_“They usually use those on the genitals.”_

Or maybe not.  “Oh great.  This means I’m getting naked, doesn’t it?”

_“Yeah, it does.”_

“Yeah.”  Naked and being handled by Unsubs.  Just what he never wanted.  Granted it had happened before but when Tobias Hankle helped him urinate in a bucket they had both just sort of not paid attention and got it over with quickly.  This was going to be entirely different.

_“Would you rather I not look?”_

“No, I need to know what happens next.  But, um, thank you for asking.”  Her question gave the sense of control when there wasn’t any here. 

_“I’m locked in here.  As long as they leave me alone I’ll keep warning you.”_

“Thank you.”  Suddenly she became the lifeline he needed to get through this in one mental piece.

_“You’re welcome.  Here they come.”_

All of a sudden rough hands grabbed at him.  “Let’s get you out of this, boy.”  Voice #1 said.  “See what we have to work with.”  He felt them starting to cut off the thin t-shirt he was wearing.

Spencer had been trying to get healthier of late, running a bit and doing calisthenics as a way of encouraging Garcia on her own journey.  Now he was just glad of the extra meat padding over his bones.   He shuddered as his pants were pushed down to the ankles, leaving him bare.  “Look at that!”  Voice #1 said.  “He’s not even hard!”  Spencer felt his cheeks burn as he realized they were talking about his erection.

 “Let’s see if we can fix that.”  Voice #2 said.  “Get him warmed up.”

 _“Looks like they’re going with the flogger first.”_   Alice said in his ear.  _“Get yourself stable on your feet and try to breathe through it.  It’s a heavy thump, like a punch from a big hand.  They can hit just about anywhere with that, they’ll try to surprise you.”_

Spencer set his feet and steadied his breathing.  The first blow caught him across the back of the shoulders.  The next caught him over his hip, the tips of the multi-tailed whip catching his skin with a stinging burn.  After that it was blow after blow, none of them doing him any damage, but buffeting him about like being caught in a tornado.

“He’s still not hard.”  Voice #2 complained.

 _“Belt next, that’s long and tends to burn.”_   Alice said.  _“And the other one has the paddle.  That stings over a wide area”_

She was right, the belt burned.  The paddle was less pain but over more of an area.  Both worked over his buttocks and thighs, the belt sometimes slipping around and between his thighs, catching more delicate skin and making him hiss, coming way too close to fragile bits for comfort.

“Goddamn it.”  Voice #2 said.

 _“They’re getting the cane next.”_   Alice said.  _“Over already tender skin that will feel like it’s cutting but it’s not.  It leaves welts but it shouldn’t break skin.”_

The first blow across the buttocks made Spencer recoil.  The second over his thighs made him jump.  The third, in the crease between buttocks and thigh made him cry out for the first time.  “There we go.”  Voice #1 said.  He rained down three more blows in quick succession that made very nearly scream. 

“Nope.”  Voice #2 said from in front of him.  Spencer felt a large hand grab his penis and testicles at the base and pull them forward, his hips arching with the movement because that hurt more than he had expected.  Then he felt like he was being smacked there, over and over, a stinging, burning pain over all those delicate parts.  “He’s still soft.”

“Well, we know he’s not a pain slut.”  Voice #1 said.

“Want to try his ass?”  Voice #2 asked.

“Can’t.”  Voice #1 replied.  “Sheriff said to save it for him for tomorrow.  Let’s try putting smart asses mouth to work for a while.”

Spencer was hanging by his wrists at that point.  He wasn’t down yet, not anywhere close to broken in spirit, but he was sore all over.  I could use a hot shower, he thought, and a cozy bed and maybe some anti-inflammatories.  A good breakfast, maybe a day off to spend in that bed.  I’d be fine going back to work on Monday.  But instead his arms were lowered, pulled behind him, he was dragged back a few steps by them and draped over a horizontal pole, while his sore buttocks rested against another one.  He was cuffed there and then he felt them moving off.  “What are they doing?”  He asked.

_“Untying Jack.  I think they’re going to bring him over to perform oral on you.”_

 No. Nono, he did not want this.  A beating he could handle, but he didn’t want them to take something he’d cherished for so long...  “Do you know any way I could not do this?”

_“Do what?”_

“Um...finish....um...”

_“Tell Jack to help you fake it.  I’ll tell you when it’s clear.”_

A moment later he felt new hands on his thighs, still large and rough but much more gentle.  _“Clear.”_   Alice said.

“Help me fake it.”  Spencer hissed.

“Really?”  Jack replied.  “It’s kind of the only high point in the day.”

“Please.”

“If you insist.”

Those gentle, large hands cradled him, and for the first time Spencer felt hot breath on skin already tender from beating, and then the soft warmth of a tongue.  “How close is this...to...what ah...a woman would do?”

“You don’t know?”  Jack asked.  “Oral is oral.”

 _“Unfortunately very close.”_   Alice said in his ear.

“I get it.”  Jack said after a moment.  Spencer felt something rough and almost prickly rub over the very delicate tissue right at his head.  “Girls don’t have beards.”  Jack said. 

Then Spencer felt something very soft and very warm surround him and every nerve in his body came alive. 

 _“If you change your mind just picture a woman down there.”_   Alice said.

A woman?  Who...would Lila have done this?  Based on some of the things she had whispered in his ear she had likely wanted to do this.  He pictured Lila just as Jack somehow made things flutter and move and if that was Lila...oh, he was not going to be able to hold out here, not at all...

 _“Careful.”_   Alice said.

Spencer sensed another body close and suddenly Jack was pulled away, leaving him cold and damp.  “I do not want him to come before I say so, which is not going to be tonight.”  Voice #1 said.  “I want him hanging on the edge as much as possible, so pace yourself.”

 _“That takes care of the faking it problem.”_   Alice said.

“I am not going to risk Mikey for you dude.”  Jack said.  “Sorry.”

“That’s all right.”  Spencer gasped out.  “What does hanging on the edge mean?”

“You’re about to find out.”


	9. Chapter 24.5

**Chapter 24.5**

**There**

**Then**

The next day set the tone for the days that followed.  Eventually they woke and ate.  They did some calesthenics under Jack’s leadership to try to keep their bodies as strong as they could.  Then Alice bustled about tidying the space while they each took turns going through the laborious grooming process.  She bathed last and then started in on any laundry. 

And they waited.

Storytelling seemed to be the simplest pastime.  Since Spencer was new it was his turn and he started in on Fascinating Tales of the BAU.  Alice and Jack were an avid audience, Lou seemed to be at least paying attention through the pain of raw skin and lingering depression, Scotty and Mikey were likely drifting.  But he told the stories anyway, maybe it helped.

Eventually they heard car engines and doors somewhere else in the building and voices off in the distance.  “If it’s any help, you are kinda cute.”  Jack said out of nowhere

 “Um...thanks?”  Spencer wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“You know, in case I have to blow you again.”

“Oh.”  He was going to try not to think about that.

Somehow Spencer was not surprised that they came for him first.  “Agent doctor.”  Voice #1 said as they threw him on his back on a steel table.  A bright light above him blind him utterly.  He was quickly restrained at the wrist.  “You’ve been a very naughty boy.”

Naughty?  What had he done?  “Um, yes, sir?”

Voice #1 laughed.  “You know what you did.”  They made short work of his pants, leaving his shirt in place, and leaving him feeling horribly vulnerable.  Then they restrained him with his legs wide apart.  But not just at the ankles, his thighs and waist were belted down as well, leaving him unable to shift his pelvis more than an inch.  “You were trying to pork Queenie last night.  Last thing we need is a baby piglet on the way.  Besides, Sheriff said your ass belongs to him but your shot belongs to me.  Now you just stay put until Doc gets here.  Get that earwig on him!”  Voice #1 said to no one in particular.

A moment later he felt the familiar shape being pressed into his ear.  _“Spencer, you’re clear.  Can you hear me?”_  Alice said.

“Yes.  What are they doing?”

“They’re setting up a medical tray.  Empty so far.”

“Oh boy.”  He was in trouble here.  Big, big trouble.

A few harrowing minutes later another voice, older, joined them.  “I need him hard for this.”  The one he assumed was called Doc said.

“Sure thing Doc.”  Voice #1 replied.  “Get smart ass on over here!”  He said to someone else.

A moment later Spencer felt a large, strong hand grab his still soft penis and still swollen testicles and pull them through something.  “What is that?”  He asked.

“It’s a cock ring.”  Alice replied.  “Some kind of plastic.  It’s makes you retain an erection by cutting off blood flow.”

A couple of minutes after that Spencer felt the now familiar warmth of Jack’s mouth on him.  But this time as he grew the ring on the bottom started to pinch.  It bit down tighter and tighter until he was moaning in pain.  But unlike yesterday when Jack was pulled away and he was left bobbing in the air he stayed rock hard.  “Will that do, Doc?”  Voice #1 asked.

“Yeah, good enough.”  Doc replied.

 _“Spencer, they’re setting up for piercing.”_   Alice said.  _“Just take deep breaths.  You can do this.”_

A piercing?  There?!?  Spencer started taking those deep breaths, trying to ready himself for what was to come.    He felt a gloved hand touch the head of his penis, then coolness that was hopefully something antiseptic.  “Boy’s uncut.”  The older voice said.  “That’s gonna be a problem.  Want me to take it off?”

“Take what off?”  Spencer whispered, hoping the mic would pick it up.

 _“Your foreskin.”_   Alice replied.

Because he really wanted to be circumcised at thirty-two.  He started trying to come up with some mental image to take his mind away from what was happening.  I’m going to need to work on that for the future, he thought.

“Nah.  I want him kept as tender as possible.”  Voice #1 replied.  Spencer was not entirely relieved.  “Can you do it without cutting him?”

“I can slit it to accommodate.  You’ll be able to pull it down over before you put him away.”

“That’ll work.”

Spencer felt two feather light touches, one on either side of the head of his penis.  _“Oh no.”_   Alice said.

“What?”  How much worse could an oh no get.

_“Just breathe, all right.  Just breathe.”_

“Give him something to bite on so we don’t lose his tongue.”  Doc said.

Spencer felt a rough hand on his jaw, trying to pry it apart.  He didn’t have to work hard, Spencer gratefully let them put a rubbery stick thing in his mouth for him to bite on.

 _“It’s called an amapallang piercing.”_   Alice said.  _“It goes completely through the head of the glans.  Just breathe.”_

Spencer had enough time to realize that those light touches were dots to aim for, and that they were going to go right _through_ and that it was going to hurt a _lot_ and then he felt pressure which became a pinpoint and then....

And then his world erupted in agony.

_“Breathe Spencer!  Breathe!”_

He tried, but for a few moments there the world went very dim and swayed around him as he felt possibly more pain than getting shot.  Twice.’

_“Breathe!”_

He forced the pain down away, tried to figure out what they were doing to him.  There was more pain then, and the smell of burning flesh.  His burning flesh.  What are they doing to me, he thought.

“You said a flexible tube?”  Doc asked.

“Yeah.”  Voice #1 replied.

Then he felt coolness and they were handing him even as the pain throbbed and something pressing against him and then oh god slithering inside him, slowly, aching slowly down the inside of his penis and then the pain grew worse as they did something there once more.

_“Just breathe.  Just breathe.”_

Before he could push the pain away again he felt something cold all over and then he heard it.

He heard a very loud click.

“Nice!”  Voice #1 said.

“There you go.”  The Doc replied.  “Now remember, keep a condom on him.  You don’t want that getting infected anytime soon.

“I don’t plan to take that off him anytime soon.”  Voice #1 replied.  “Not until he begs me for it.”

The Doc chuckled.  “Have fun with that.  Now where is that other kid.”

They took the stick out of his mouth and Spencer sensed them moving off.  The pain had dropped from sharpness to a dull thudding.  It wasn’t likely to get worse anytime soon.  He breathed and breathed until he got it under control.  “What did they do to me?”  He asked.

 _“They put you in a chastity cage.”_   Alice said in his ear.    _“I think one that will let you have an erection.”_

“What was burning?”

_“I don’t know.  It looks like they had to slit your foreskin to accommodate it, but they pulled it back down before they put the cage on.  That will help maintain sensitivity.  Bodes well for the future.  It can be repaired you know.  We can find someone to fix that.”_

“Why do this?”

_“Remember how you felt last night?  They’re going to make you feel like that all the time until you beg them to let you come for them.”_

Ah.  That was their game.  Break the FBI agent, make him believe he really is some kind of...of...male prostitute.  Take the one thing he had nurtured on his mother’s stories of chivalry and virtue, the one thing he would have happily given Maeve if he’s had the chance, the one thing he was saving for love.  Well, now that he knew it was coming he could find some way around it.  Or if nothing else just endure it.  “You don’t die from that.”

_“Spencer...”_

“They won’t break me.”

* * *

 

They dragged him off then.  Back to the familiar confines of the holding cell.  Spencer was able to feel the walls, to stagger back to his bedroll before collapsing.  When he got there he reached down and felt what covered him.  That belongs to them now, he thought.  But my mind and my heart still belong to me.  And love is still my destiny.

As he fell into blissful sleep he felt the hot tears falling down his cheeks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you window shop at Steelwerks like I do check out the Gauntlet for an idea of what's going on there.


	10. Chapter 25.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Rape

**Chapter 25.5**

**There**

**Then**

It became painfully obvious what was going to happen when they pulled Spencer into a quiet room that night, bent him over a table with his legs apart, restrained him, took off that metal cage (a painful task) and forced something large and round in his mouth, locking it behind his head.  He knew what was coming, he’d known for some time.  Now all they had to do was put his earwig in and he’d find a way to get through this with Alice’s help.

Now all they had to do was put his earwig in.

Put his earwig in.

Um, hello out there....

After a little bit he heard someone else coming in.  He heard the sound of someone with boots and then the bustle of someone being dragged in and in front of him and the sound of handcuffs being locked in place. 

And the sound of someone chuckling.  “My boys tell me you and the doctor here have gotten close over the past week.”  Sheriff Blackburn said.  “Did I finally find someone you care about Dom-ay Vic-tor-e-a?”

There was no reply except for the jingle of someone tugging on those handcuffs.

“The doctor here is going to be my boy now.  You took mine so I’m going to take yours.  That’s what’s fair.”

“It doesn’t work that way.”  As he had assumed that was Alice sitting in front of him.  Her voice was calm and rich, compared to Blackburn’s sneer.  “These are things you can’t take, you can only give.  That you think you can only shows your lack of control.  You’re not a Dominant, you’re a monster.” 

Mental note to Alice, Spencer thought, I know you’re communicating to me and you’re right but please stop antagonizing the Unsub.

Blackburn was laughing again.  “That’s funny.  That’s real funny.  ‘Cause it looks like I’ve got all the control I need right here.”  Spencer felt large hands on his buttocks, and that he was being spread, the coolness of the air.  He was suddenly very glad he couldn’t see, and very unhappy that his head was resting on the table and he couldn’t hide his face.  “Bet this ass is well-used.  Heard those back alleys of DC get busy at night.”  He heard the sound of someone spitting and felt something wet right there and his stomach churned.  Then he felt something poking at him.  He recalled reading about this sort of thing once, the morbid fascinations of teen-agers, and remembered that pushing back against it was supposed to make it easier.  So he did and felt what might have been a finger actually sliding inside his body.  It felt warm and rough and not at all comfortable.  “I take that back, Dom-ay, your boy here is pretty tight.  All the better for me.”

Alice, he realized, was humming.  Something soft and low.

“Hell, he might be too tight.”  There was the sound of spitting again and more wetness and the one finger withdrew to be replaced by two, which felt enormous.  “Have to loosen him up a little before I take this ass.”

“You’re not making him yours.”  Alice said, “You’ll never make him yours.”

“Oh I think I will.”  He went back to probing.  “Nice tight ass is going to be mine.”

Alice went back to humming.  It was a lovely soft sound.  Spencer found it very easy to follow it, to let his mind wander off and away from what was happening to his body.

After a moment the fingers withdrew and Spencer heard the sound of a zipper and felt something else pressing.  And he heard Alice starting to sing, very softly.

“Golden slumbers kiss your eyes,  
Smiles await you when you rise.  
Sleep,  
Pretty darling,  
Do not cry,  
And I will sing a lullaby.  
  
Cares you know not,  
Therefore sleep,  
While over you a watch I'll keep.  
Sleep,  
Pretty darling,  
Do not cry,  
And I will sing a lullaby. “

It was easy to follow that soft sound away, to some place quiet and warm where everything was very numb and he could just be tired.  So very tired.  When he felt the press of something quite larger, something very insistent, a pressure that quickly became pain and more pain and even more pain, a pain that demanded panic for a moment he felt his heart start to pound and he clawed ineffectively at the table below him but he couldn’t get away.  When it didn’t stop, it didn’t stop, he  felt his mind suddenly drop, fall away from his body, leaving the pain and the vulnerability and the humiliation and the distress over there somewhere.  He disconnected utterly.

 “Sleep,  
Pretty darling,  
Do not cry,  
And I will sing a lullaby.”

He didn’t feel anything.  He didn’t feel when the pressure finally burst through, he didn’t feel when he was suddenly very full, he didn’t feel the friction of pulling out and filling again, he didn’t even feel the heat when Blackburn groaned and finished deep inside him.  And he only vaguely felt the hot tears on his cheeks.

“And I will sing a lullaby.”

He didn’t feel anything anymore.  Just tired.  So very tired.

He suddenly felt very empty.  Pain and damp and emptiness.  “Now that ass is mine.”  Blackburn laughed.  “I win.”

Spencer listened to Alice’s singing as they dragged him away.


End file.
